From Circles to Clarity: Resetting Culture Conversations That Go Nowhere
Picture this: a meeting about “culture” kicks off with energy. There’s momentum. Agreement. Maybe even a sense of relief. Finally, we’re talking about this.
But fifteen minutes in, something shifts. The conversation starts to spiral. People repeat the same concerns. Language gets softer, vaguer. Someone starts venting. Someone else zones out. The facilitator tries to bring it back, but the thread is slipping.
You’ve entered the Circle.
This isn’t apathy. It’s not a lack of care. It’s that the topic is heavier than the structure allows for. Culture conversations carry weight: emotional, historical, political. They brush up against identity, belonging, and power.
And without the right scaffolding, they loop. Not because people don’t want change, but because the stakes feel too high to name what’s really in the room.
Why Culture Conversations Are So Hard to Move Forward
Culture talk feels simple on the surface (values, behaviors, ways of working) but dig deeper, and you're in the territory of identity and emotion.
Here’s what makes it so tricky:
🔍 Culture is mostly invisible.
Edgar Schein calls this the iceberg of organizational life. The visible stuff—office perks, all-hands meetings, stated values—are just the tip. Below the surface? Unspoken assumptions. Beliefs about what success looks like, how power operates, who belongs, and what’s safe to say.
Trying to change culture without addressing these deeper layers is like repainting a house with a cracked foundation. The shine wears off fast.
🧠 Change is friction-heavy—especially when it's micro.
Adam Grant reminds us that the behaviors that drive culture are often tiny: Interrupting in meetings. Side-slacking during Zooms. Who gets praised. Who gets ignored.
And because those behaviors are so small, they’re easy to dismiss. But stacked together? They create the culture. So when someone says, “I don’t feel like I can speak up,” and the response is “but we just rolled out a new feedback platform,” you’ve missed the thread entirely.
💬 We think we’re aligned, but we’re not.
Everyone agrees that we want a culture of “respect” or “accountability” or “trust.” But those words mean wildly different things depending on your role, history, or identity within the org. If someone says “I don’t feel trusted,” they might mean micromanaged… or they might mean completely invisible.
And here’s the kicker: no one wants to be the one to say, “I think we’re talking past each other.” So we circle.
Signs You’re in the Circle
Want to spot the spiral early? Look for these:
Repetition: Same ideas resurface again and again without new insight.
Abstraction: Big words, vague commitments, no examples.
Emotional Hijack: The tone shifts into venting, defending, or over-explaining.
Power Silence: The people with influence are listening… but not contributing.
Culture work is emotional labor. If no one feels safe, or responsible, conversation drifts into polite performance.
So What Do You Do When You’re Stuck in the Circle?
Here’s how to shift without forcing a shortcut. Because clarity doesn’t mean collapsing complexity, it means giving it shape.
1. Name the Pattern
“I’m noticing we’ve circled this a few times—what might we be avoiding?”
Naming the meta-pattern gives people permission to pause and reflect. You’re not blaming. You’re holding up a mirror.
2. Normalize the Discomfort
“This stuff is hard to talk about. That’s okay. It means it matters.”
Culture is personal. Of course it’s messy. A little grace goes a long way.
3. Make the Abstract Concrete
“When we say ‘respect,’ what does that look like in our Slack threads? In our team meetings? In how we give feedback?”
Bring it down from the poster and into the day-to-day. Behavior is where culture lives.
4. Re-contract the Purpose
“Are we trying to name a challenge? Make a decision? Build a plan?”
Resetting the why helps shift from spinning to progressing—without losing the nuance.
5. Use Disruption Tactics (Gently)
Ask everyone to write their thoughts silently for 2 minutes before speaking
Try “one-breath” rounds: each person gets one uninterrupted statement
Break into pairs to surface tougher truths, then regroup
Culture Work Is Circle Work, Until It’s Not
Here’s the truth: circles aren’t failures. They’re signals. They tell us something underneath the surface needs attention.
But you don’t have to stay stuck.
With care, clarity, and a bit of courage, you can guide the group from circling toward something more solid. Not a quick fix. Not performative agreement. But a moment of real understanding.
And that? That’s where transformation begins.
💬 What About You?
Have you ever felt stuck in the Circle? What helped you find your way out?
Let’s talk. Because culture doesn’t shift with talk alone—but it starts there.
